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Reflections Thursdays: F-E-A-R-S.

So, I just finished watching Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. The movie taught and reminded me of some stuff I've already known per say. It reminded me of fears and how we deal with them. Roscoe Jenkins always thought of himself as a loser and so he always tried to compete with Clyde his cousin. One competition they had became a major component in his life - which reminded of something else: Childhood. No matter how much we try to "deceive" ourselves that our childhood has no effect on us IT DOES. Childhood is when we develop most of our traits, "personality" etc. The competition included a wager of whoever wins asks the town's dime to the Spring dance. Well Roscoe won but "slick" Clyde asked her out either-ways. Long story short Roscoe went about trying to "transform" himself into what he thought of as a winner - some Tv show host with money. The odd side is no matter how we try to transform ourselves with MATERIALISTIC things. The "loser-mentality" we may have of ourselves NEVER transforms ALONGSIDE until we deal with it. SO, Roscoe kept trying to beat Clyde trying to be better than him etc. And it really cost him a lot - even though he didn't see it (as we all will never will): relationship with his son, family and marrying some figure 0 chick probably to satisfy his inner insecurity that he can't get dimes.
And here is what came back to mind after watching that movie (and from my private life) : In dealing with fears and insecurity DO NOT:

  • EVER try to deceive yourself that your fears do not exist - u r LYING like a bitch and will never conquer your fears.
  • Try to cover/subsitiute your fears for something else. Eg u r scared of approaching dimes so u rather approach 300 ugly broads #FAIL.
  • Try to "transform" urself. U r only giving gas to the idea that you are indeed a loser and that u r not good enough as you are UNTIL you CHANGE yourself. 
  • Try to cover your fears with materialistic things - they only fuel your fear and make it look bigger than it actually is.
However, DO

  • Acknowledge your fears - u dont have to ACCEPT them. Just acknowledge their presence and begin to work from there. 
  • Take a step to working on your fears - as much as it hurts to know that we are not perfect, you'll only become stronger when you can look your fears in the face.
  • Dare to dream, imagine what it would be like if your fears were not there. Picture it in your mind, feel like you would feel, see like you would see and soon you would transport yourself there. Eg I want to land a certain position: if i do begin to compose myself like someone for that position the likelihood of me getting that position increases (i'll talk more about this in another post).
  • Accept that no one is perfect and still make a move to better-ness.
  • Love yourself unconditionally.
So in summary:
  • Make a move towards working on your fears, eg if a guy scared of approaching females might start by gaining more female friends; get comfortable with being around  females then take another progressive step. 
  • Dare to dream - you block your dream when you allow your fears to grow bigger than your faith especially faith in yourself. 
Till next time...

Keep reading,

                                                                 The Gentleman

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