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For the ladies - Figuring Mr. Right.

Down right it's known women  fantasize about Mr. Right all the time, well I'm going to give the tips to help you identify if your next mate is Mr. Right.

1. How much of you is he willing to listen about? If your next date is your Mr. Right he should definitely wanna hear more about you. There's the 'm hmm im listening' that's the move guys use when aiming solely for the lay. His body language should correspond to how much he claims to be listening. Key moves like looking in your eyes, leaning a bit closer, mirroring body movements and asking questions are vital. Pay attention to how much he's actually trying to get to know about you and less of how much cars he has, houses, money or how many more females want him. Any of that - go onto the next one. If he's not listening or trying to figure about you then he's mostly not a candidate for Mr. Right. Mr Right will listen, remember your important dates and offer emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways.

2. Does he need you to change? Granted there has to be sacrifice in a relationship - the guy sacrifices a  bit of his personality to make his woman happy and vice-versa. However, if tolerance turns into torture, it's time to look for a new mate. Sacrificing yourself to make a relationship work isn't necessary in the right relationship. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your (beautiful) life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed.

3. Does he add to you? This is something I've found goes both sides. In a healthy relationship - 'love' is enriching and adds to your life. It is progressive and let's you grow and achieve your highest potential and like I always push for - YOUR DREAMS. In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and visions of endless possibilities to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you mentally, personally, spiritually and possible professionally. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right!

4. Is there a connection? The feelings of connect and chemistry are vital for any relationship. This is what helps you know/gauge compatibility, similarity and longevity of the relationship. When with your special somebody do you run out of things to say and run out of things to say? Awkward situations are meant for the first early stages of your relationship. It shouldn't extend into the relationship at all. Once into the relationship each person should be comfortable enough to be themselves around the other person - if you are in a relationship and that still happens - get out of that relationship! I personally believe that if it's gonna work it will work. If it's not working AND you are not happy - go make yourself happy. When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special. One of my relationships was like this and each time I kept trying to bring her out of her shell because she was shy. I wasted 1year of my life but I learned from it. In simple terms if it's not working, don't try to fix it.

5. Is there trust? Everyone says trust is the most important element in a relationship. With Mr Right, you should feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and really trust him not to hurt you; ie, there is no need for jealousy or suspicion, checking text messages, emails and answering their calls (yep, I went there!)

6. Are you getting beat up? No excuses, with Mr Right there should be NO violence in the relationship at all -- NONE!

7. You sticking it through? With Mr Right, there'll be good times and bad times and through, or in spite of, them all he'll stand by you.

8. Is helping each other out pleasurable? If you each do kind and thoughtful things for one another "just because" and doing them makes both of you feel good. He might be your lucky candidate.

9. You feel comfortable with him? Does he make you feel special, make you smile and you love checking up to just hear his voice and he does too? Does he call you in the morning to let you know how much you light up his life, how lucky he feels to have a precious woman like you in his life and how he wouldn't trade the world in for you?

9. And my favorite! If you can relate to him like a friend, crack jokes, push each other, play around, play fight, yet still cuddle in his arms at the movie, make out in public, hold hands at dates, be romantic and still have mind-blowing sex - get married HE IS Mr. Right (I'll  marry a lady like this real quick!)

If your man possesses these, good for you, you've found a  good man, treat him right and hold on tight to him, women nowadays are hunting for us good men. And likewise to the men. If not, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the dating pool with a clearer understanding of who and what you want, like and feel most fulfilled date. Remember, finding your life partner isn't always easy, but by being clear, honoring yourself, and acting accordingly, you'll cut down on wasted time with Mr. Wrong and Mr. Next, and ultimately make room for Mr. Right.

update: my boss read this and liked it, I thought I'd share that, my boss is like a second mum to me.

1 comment:

  1. Great post! Better than anything Steve Harvey's ever written, lol


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